I'll admit it, last year the green-eyed monster of envy crept upon me. My three year old niece had been diagnosed with cancer just two months prior to Christmas, and they received an outpouring of love and support not only from family and friends but from the community as well. They were given Christmas three times over; they were given the promise of free landscaping for their yard (they had just bought and were in the process of finishing up remolding their home), and so much more.
I tried hard, I really did, but as we struggled with providing Christmas for our kids, and with the added financial strain of a new baby any day, seeing my sister-in-law's family receive such an abundance was really hard. It wasn't that I didn't think they deserved it--quite the contrary; I was grateful that they had so much support--there was just part of me that was envious too. Why is it always such a struggle for us when others are given in abundance so easily?
I kept my green-eyed monster down, however, knowing that all too soon the newness of the diagnosis would wear off, and with it, the material support would decrease. They would be fighting a tough battle with their little girl in the next couple years, so they would need all the buoying up that they could get from the first few months. Christmas was magical for them--and, I might add, for us, too.
Life moved on, and I forgot about about my little monster. River was born, and with her perfect babyness, our family has become whole. We were able to get away from it all quite a bit this summer. We went to Yellowstone twice, as well as Zion National Park, and I had the amazing opportunity to go around the world with my sister.
My monster started to feel embarrassed. How could I have been jealous even for a second? I have an amazing life--challenging at times, yes, but amazing, and oh-so-blessed.
Then I ate some real humble pie as the holidays began.
We went as a family to the Festival of Trees. My grandparents came with us, and it was really busy. We were in line to get tickets with excited, wiggling kids, and Kai's stroller was just adding chaos to the tight space. My grandma and I took the kids out of the way while J and my grandpa stayed in line. When J was next in line to pay, further down the line, a boy was playing with a sign and flipped it my way: Cash Only This Line. J was in the cash only line and he was going to pay with a card. I had brought some cash for activities (face painting, giant bubbles, etc), so I went up to J and pulled out my cash for him to use, but when I saw the guy ahead pay with a card, I realized we could use the card after all.
At that moment, an older teenage girl came up to me and held out some cash. She said that it was for us to get in. I was so flabbergasted that my first instinct to refuse almost came out. She must have seen my hesitation and my almost denial, because she pushed her hand closer. I thanked her, still in shock and handed the money to J, who was now at the register. When we turned back around, the girl was gone. I would have loved to be able to talk with her more, and tell her how much her generosity meant.
Not even a week later, we received a gift card in the mail. It had an unsigned note on it, and no return address.
Blessings upon blessings--and I cried.
The Christmas miracles did not end there. A few days later, when I came home from picking the kids up from school, I walked in to discover a bunch of gifts under our Christmas tree. The deliverer wanted only to be known as "Santa."
I tell you, my heart has been tremendously touched by the unexpected kindness of others this year. " 'Tis the season," one person said to me--but that person didn't understand. It is more than just "the season" to me. It means everything. This year--this year when finances aren't as tight, when we have been so abundantly blessed throughout the year, this is the year that we are given Christmas miracles. Because miracles they are; someone--some people out there, thought of us, and not because we are "in need." I think that means more to me than anything. They thought of us.
They brought the spirit of Christmas into our home, and with it, added joy into our hearts. One day, I hope to be able to do the same for others.
So to my anonymous friends, I say thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. May you be blessed as you have blessed us.
Merry Christmas
No comments:
Post a Comment