Feeding Belle

After everyone but Shin and Heather had left our house the day of River's baby blessing,Zuri disappeared into her room by herself, which is very uncharacteristic for her.  When I went to investigate, I found her by her window on the floor.

She said she was sad.  I asked her why.
"I'm afraid my baby is going to die."  Her "baby" is her big Belle doll, which she hasn't touched in over a year, but has started playing with since River was born.  She will do everything from change her "diaper" to put her to sleep.
Okaaaay, morbid.  Where did that come from?  "Why do you think your baby is going to die?"
"Because I don't have any milk in my boobs to feed her."  Oh, oh, oh!  I had to turn away so she didn't see me laughing.  Shin left the room he was busting up so badly.
Since she didn't want to use her "boobs" for imaginary milk, I gave her a bottle to feed Belle, and she was a happy camper.

Blessing Day

With my grandparents and my dad in town, we figured it would be a good time to have River's baby blessing.  We ended up pushing the blessing forward a week because it didn't work for quite a few people in J's family.  My dad had to return to Tahoe for work, but he was able to come back that weekend for the blessing, so it worked out. 

We had a really good turnout for the baby blessing.  It was the first time since my wedding that all of my siblings (minus two--there were also minus two at my wedding, ironically enough) were together.  Unfortunately, Ashley and Shawnie couldn't make it for the luncheon at our house afterwards, but it was great the could make it to the blessing itself.

For Zuri's baby blessing we were able to get some really great family (and friend) photos, and I wanted to do the same for River's baby blessing.  We didn't get all the pictures that I wanted (like a family picture with J, Zuri, Kai, River, and me), and we missed out on a picture with HK's family.  Kai was also absent from any of the pictures, but there were too many people to bring him back upstairs for the pictures, and Zuri had already taken off her dress twice so she could play with the kids.  J was also absent from almost all the photos (he was taking them), and the ones he was in didn't turn out or he had his eyes closed.  C'est la vie.


It was a good day, though, and it was fun to celebrate with so many family and friends.


Two of my Young Women Leaders from Tahoe--Terri and Anna.  It was great to see them again


Suzanne and River


Zuri, Me, Suzanne, River, Robert, and J


Zuri, Suzanne, Robert, and River


J's grandparents--Janet and Jay, River, and Zuri



Four Generations: River/Zuri, Me, my mom/Suzanne, my grandmother Mary/Janet

The great-grandmothers


Siblings: Shin, Dallas, (River and me), Breanna, Heather, McKenzie (and Zuri)


Cousins (with my mom, Breanna, and Zuri): My Aunt April, Cousins Alexis, Sammi and Courtney


My dad, Grandma, (River and me), Grandpa, Zuri, Shin, and Heather


J and River


Rob, McKenzie, and River


McKenzie and River

Early Spring?

Have you ever seen a snake in the snow?  I hadn't until a month ago.  Dad and Zuri were playing in our backyard in the snow and I went out to talk to them.  I spied this little guy slithering across the snow. 



Amazingly enough, neither of them had seen the snake before I pointed him out. 

Indication of an early spring?  The weather since certainly makes it seem so.  There are a couple snakes that hang out in our flower bed and Zuri will look for them when she gets home from school.  She has found one almost every day in the last month.

We have also noticed some buds starting to show on our apple tree, so although it is still a bit early, J attacked the apple tree this weekend.  He literally cut off 98% of the branches.  We will be lucky if we get six apples.  As he states, "it had to be done."  The poor tree had been so neglected over the years.  So this year we won't get many apples, but next year we should get a good crop.  However, I am really really sad about the pretty apple blossoms that we won't get this year.

The First Few Weeks

Our first few weeks home with River were crazy busy with visitors and family.  J's mom stayed at our house with Zuri until River and I were discharged from the hospital.  She had to leave that night to get back home.  We spent a quiet New Years at home with our new bundle of joy.

While we were at the hospital, J's mom cooked up a storm; she prepared almost 30 freezer meals for us.  She also cleaned up the house and took down our Christmas decorations.  She was such a big help in the short time she was with us.

Suzanne holding River right after we got home from the hospital


Cory proudly showing off his new niece


Maria soaking in the new babyness of River


Robert and Kynlee



Kynlee


My Mom--playing with River's feet.  She absolutely loves baby feet


Rob


Dallas


McKenzie


Matt


Heather (HK)

My grandparents and my dad came out to stay with us for a bit.  My dad stayed a week--coming out on the 3rd of January, and then he came back out the next weekend for River's baby blessing.  My grandparents stayed with us for just over two weeks, leaving with my dad the day after the blessing.

It was a really nice visit, and they helped with Zuri and River while I got some much needed sleep.  Grandma would hold River for hours, and she got a little spoiled being held so much.  Since my dad is an only child, and the grandchildren have been grown for some time now, they haven't really been around kids much lately.  It was fun to see the maternal side in Grandma as she cared for River. 

My grandparents also spoiled us by buying us an electric fireplace for our basement and a new vacuum.  Apparently, our old vacuum was too noisy (although I can't complain, because the new vacuum works wonders and is quieter, even though it is just an upgraded model of the old vacuum).  The electric fireplace is SO nice, and creates such a great ambiance for our family room--it just completes the room.  It also heats up the basement very well.


A very rare picture of Grandma looking at the camera.  Most of the time we have to sneak in the picture to get a shot of her. 



Grandpa taking his turn with River

Entertaining two at once.  He is holding River and playing with Zuri on the iPad.

Playing with Zuri




I thought this was a pretty cool picture.  They are watching a show on Animal Planet, and Grandpa is holding River, while Zuri is in Grandma's lap.


Dad with the girls!

Some Changes

Kai had trach/vent clinic earlier this week, and they made some changes to his vent settings.  They reduced his peep (the amount of pressure that keeps his airway open) from 10 to 9.  Not a big change, but enough to make me nervous.  Very nervous.  I really don't want to go back to two years ago when he was turning blue all the time.  That was a very scary and stressful time.  We haven't had to bag Kai since putting him on the ventilator, and he has thrived so much since then.

Kai's peep is very high, however, and since he has been doing so well, we are going to try a lower setting.  A normal peep is 2 to 3, so 10 is really high.  It is exciting because it means we are one (small) step closer to getting him off the ventilator.  So far he is handling the change well.  We haven't noticed any signs of labored breathing or airway collapse, so so-far-so-good.

Next month he will get another bronch to reevaluate his airway.  If all looks well (and he tolerates the peep of 9 for the rest of this month), then we will look at lowering his peep even further.  Really great news!  We will also get an ABR done to re-test his hearing at the same visit as his bronch.



We also have a new bed in the works for him.  Since he is the size of a typical two and a half year old, he has pretty much outgrown his crib.  He will stretch his legs out from side to side and touch each side.  He doesn't have much room to wiggle, and although he pretty much stays at the top of his crib, more room would be really good for him.  It looks as though we will be getting a hospital-type bed, with the rails and head part of the bed can be raised.

Another big change is for his car seat.  Right now Kai is in a regular convertible car seat that we have still facing backwards, but he is outgrowing it in the rear position.  Since he has very little head control, having Kai forward-facing has not been a possibility.

I didn't know it, but to fix the problem, we will have a collar (similar to what people wear when they have a neck injury) that we would put on him when in the car, and he would be in a forward-facing car seat.  Ugh.  One more restrictive device to put on him.  I am not excited at all for that change, although it will allow more room in the car for his equipment, which will be nice.

Feeding is still a work in progress.  Surprisingly, he is starting to enjoy trying foods, but after about five or so bites, he will start gagging.  If he gets too much in his mouth, he will gag.  His OT is impressed with his willingness to try eating.  He still has the tongue thrust reaction, where his tongue pushes out most of the food, but I think he is swallowing more than previously.  Progress!


Cuddling with his blankets.

We have added another specialist to our mix: vision.  For some time now, I have resisted getting the vision specialist on board, mostly because it is one more appointment to add to my already crazy busy schedule (and I just had a baby!), but also because I really couldn't see what they would be able to help Kai with that we don't already do.  I feel like the appointments with the hearing specialist are mostly a waste of time.  In fact, the hearing specialist is constantly telling me that she learns more from me than she thinks I learn from her.  She is impressed with how in-tune I am with Kai, and I already do pretty much everything that she has for me.  There have been times when the visits seem productive, however, which is why I have her continue to come.  Besides, she helps me out with my sign language, which we still attempt with Kai (although honestly, we have pretty much given up on signing with him).  I took a sign language class at the local community college with my dad when I was in high school, but that was so long ago that I have forgotten much of it, so it is nice to have a refresher.

The vision specialist actually has some really neat things that she will be bringing to work with Kai.  I am really excited for the next few months (until he turns three).  I wish I had given her a shot earlier.  However, because he has one good eye, he technically doesn't qualify for vision services.  We are able to have her come because it is such a short duration, and she is able to justify coming based on some of the therapies and equipment that she will be doing, of which the hearing specialist doesn't have access.

It is crazy that if a person has one good eye, that they are not considered visually impaired.  I didn't know that.  Since Kai has unimpaired vision in his right eye (although we recently learned that he is very slightly near-sighted, so glasses will most likely be in the future), and he has a slight field of vision in his left, he is not considered visually impaired.  Wow.


I don't think that Kai is aware that we have added another to our family.  He went through a fussy period during the first couple weeks after River was born, but I attribute that more to a break in his normal routine than anything.  Since he is mostly deaf, the baby crying has no impact on him at all, and even with his hearing aids, he seems not to notice.

It is hard, because developmentally, he is still at a four-to-six month level, so really, he doesn't have the cognitive ability to understand he has a new sister.  Still, we are acclimating River early, and hopefully she will love Kai with the fierceness that Zuri does.

Sisters

One of the questions that I am asked often is how is Zuri with her new sister?

Absolutely adorable.  Zuri is so stinking cute with River.  She always wants to hold her and rock her.  When she cries, Zuri is always asking what she wants, and telling her "it's okay, I'm here."  One time, when Zuri was headed out the door with J and River was fussing, she said, "I love you River. It's okay, I won't be gone forever."  

Zuri hasn't displayed any jealousy with the time that I spend with River either.  Perhaps it is because she is already used to sharing me with Kai--and oftentimes with Kai it is a "right now" situation.  I know that non-jealousy won't always be the case, kids will be kids, so I am soaking it in while it lasts.  I will never forget the time in the car when Zuri said, "Mom, Kai is bugging me!"  What?  How is that even possible?  Our vehicle has bucket seats with a gap in the middle, so Kai was no where near her.  Also, Kai keeps completely to himself--he is still developmentally about a four to six month old.  I just had to laugh.  For now, however, I am loving all the attention that Zuri gives her little sister.  She even shares her toys with River (who just looks at Zuri like, "what do you expect me to do with that?").

Here are a few of my favorite moments of the two of them over the last six weeks: