One would think that after having left Kai every night in the hospital for six weeks that I would be used to it. Not so. Tonight was very hard to say goodbye, even if it was just for the night. You see, Kai's carbon dioxide levels have still continued to increase, which means they are going to put him on a ventilator. Or are they?
It is up in the air right now. Last night, the nurse noticed retractions while Kai was breathing--which means he was having a difficult time breathing. It is one of the things we watch for with trachs. So, we called up his doctor and they revealed that his blood gast was at 62 and they wanted him to come in today to get set up on the ventilator. It would be an overnight excursion because they need to see how well he does and the right levels. When we arrived at Primary Childrens, however, they didn't put him on the vent right away. They have taken two blood gasts so far and each has been better than the last. In fact, the first one they took today, even though it was still a little higher than they would like, the doctor said that his body is compensating and that his blood ph is normal. Which is a good thing.
Right now they are monitoring him without the ventilator, and if we are extremely lucky, he won't have to have it. They brought in a new machine to monitor his CO2 levels so they won't have to keep drawing his blood.
It was very hard coming home without Kai. I keep catching myself looking at his crib to check up on him--and it is so quiet without all the machines going.
It was a very stressful day, but I have learned a very important lesson. This is just the beginning of many hospital trips and we need to be better prepared. I had to scramble to get everything packed for tonight (Zuri is staying over at my mom's because children aren't allowed in the PICU). I was originally going to stay up in Salt Lake as well, but at the last minute I decided I would rather make the drive home and sleep in my own bed. We need to have overnight bags packed and ready to go so that we don't have to stress about packing.
To be honest, I spent the majority of the morning in tears. Perhaps the at-home ventilator is better than the one he had in the NICU, but I just remember how restrictive it was and how hard it was to hold him. He couldn't move and he was miserable on it. The thought of Kai going back on the ventilator is heartbreaking to me.
Well, we will know tomorrow. It is not easy, and it is only the beginning, and I don't know how this will all work out, but it will...somehow.
No comments:
Post a Comment