Just Playing

Just a couple of pictures of Kai playing around.  :-)

Playing on the Trampoline

Zuri's favorite summer activity is jumping on the trampoline with the sprinklers--in fact she loves any water activity--but sprinklers on the trampoline takes the cake!

VIK

In May I had the opportunity to present "Zuri's Adventures" to her class for her VIK-- "Very Important Kindergartner."  It is a way for the class to learn more about the student.  I was originally going to make a poster with Zuri's interests and talents, however, she had a different idea.  She wanted pictures of all her adventures.

I tried to incorporate as many as I could (Lake Tahoe, exploring Georgia, white sand beach in Florida, floating down the Chattahoochee river, hiking Stone Mountain, Sand Dunes, Colorado, Monarchs Game, Bees Game, ice castles, camping Yosemite, etc), but there were still some that I couldn't fit in, such as our time in Zion National Park, Cascade Springs, and hikes in Tahoe.  While I was putting this collage together, I realized that most of our adventures were pre-Kai.  As much as we try to live our life as normally as possible, with Kai I have come to the sad acknowledgment that we are not nearly as active as we used to be (as evidenced my my waistline ;-) ).  We can't just get up and go at a whim.  Even day adventures require quite a bit of work and planning to accommodate Kai.  There are places that we simply cannot bring him because they are not wheelchair friendly, or his stamina is just not where it needs to be.  His vent has a battery life of about five hours, so if we are going to be out longer, we need access to a power source.   

Life was so much simpler with just Zuri to cart around, and she was a willing adventurer.  Now, it feels as though we spend too much time inside our house.  With Kai, and now River, getting out is much more complicated, yet we persevere.  Practice makes it easier, right?  We have some fun trips planned this summer (so stay tuned!).  Zuri will also be pretty busy with swimming lessons and summer dance class, along with a few new adventures to add to her collage!

Be Brave

Zuri's spring dance recital was titled "Be Brave."  They danced to the classic, "Old Time Rock 'N Roll."  Her dance class started out the year with six girls, but by the end of the season, it was down to just two--Zuri and Sophie.  There was one other girl who would still come intermittently, but she was out of town for the recital and didn't show up for pictures. 

As for the dance itself, I think both girls suffered a little stage fright.  They knew the dance fairly well beforehand, but when they got up on the stage, it was touch and go throughout the performance.  Still, they were super cute in their outfits, and they get an "A" for effort!

Seeing Me

I read an article a few months ago that has really stuck with me: The Mom Stays in the Picture. Here is the portion of the article that hit home for me:

I avoid photographic evidence of my existence these days. To be honest, I avoid even mirrors. When I see myself in pictures, it makes me wince. I know I am far from alone; I know that many of my friends also avoid the camera.
It seems logical. We're sporting mama bodies and we're not as young as we used to be. We don't always have time to blow dry our hair, apply make-up, perhaps even bathe (ducking). The kids are so much cuter than we are; better to just take their pictures, we think.
But we really need to make an effort to get in the picture. Our sons need to see how young and beautiful and human their mamas were. Our daughters need to see us vulnerable and open and just being ourselves -- women, mamas, people living lives. Avoiding the camera because we don't like to see our own pictures? How can that be okay?
Too much of a mama's life goes undocumented and unseen. People, including my children, don't see the way I make sure my kids' favorite stuffed animals are on their beds at night. They don't know how I walk the grocery store aisles looking for treats that will thrill them for a special day...
Someday, I want them to see me, documented, sitting right there beside them...
I'm everywhere in their young lives, and yet I have very few pictures of me with them. Someday I won't be here -- and I don't know if that someday is tomorrow or thirty or forty or fifty years from now -- but I want them to have pictures of me. I want them to see the way I looked at them, see how much I loved them. I am not perfect to look at and I am not perfect to love, but I am perfectly their mother.
When I look at pictures of my own mother, I don't look at cellulite or hair debacles. I just see her... I didn't care that she didn't look like a model. She was my mama.    (Article condensed)

I know over the years I have ducked away from the camera more times than I care to count.  I am sporting an extra forty pounds from my three kids (eek, did I just admit that?).  How many pictures have I deleted because I didn't like the way I looked?  Yet, what happens when I am gone?  I want my kids to not only have memories of me, but pictures--actual tangible evidence--that I was there with them.  Day in and day out.  I was there.  I'm not saying that I have to be in every picture, but I need to include myself in the pictures even when I am feeling less than stellar, because seriously, how often do we really feel we look the best, or have the picture taken at just the right angle to make you look good?

My grandma is a perfect example.  For years and years she avoided the camera, so we don't have many pictures of her looking at the camera smiling.  We have candid shots here and there that we were able to sneak in, but what about all the missed shots?  I want to be able to proudly show my children their great-grandmother when they are older.  See, she was there.  This is your great-grandma holding you; playing with you.

A picture is worth a thousand words.  A picture can bring back memories long forgotten.  A moment captured can remind you of so much more than just what is visually in front of you.  



This picture, for example, reminds me that we went to Cascade falls, and that it was one of our first "real" outings with Kai.  It was before he was vented.  He had been fussy so I was holding him and J thought it was a perfect spot for a picture.  Zuri had been fascinated with playing with a stick and didn't want to come over for a picture at first.  It was a testament to us getting out and not letting Kai's disabilities keep us from doing the things we love.  It was a first step in showing him the world.

I want my children to see me.  Forty pounds extra, hair messed up, and even pajamas on; because this is me--now.  So, I am going to make a tremendous effort not to duck away when the camera is pointed my way.  I am going to be included in the pictures, and even start doing *gasp* selfies with my children, because honestly, when you let go of "perfection," aren't they fun?


  

Five Months

This little one is five months!  Wow, the time really does go quickly.  She is no longer confined to her play mat--she rolls all over!  She can roll from her back to her tummy, and from her tummy to her back with ease.  Pretty soon I am going to have to start baby-proofing the house, especially since everything she gets her hands on goes into her mouth!  She even managed to get her diaper off and enjoyed chewing on it.



I had been getting her dressed for the day and Kai needed my attention for a minute, so I left her in her crib with some toys and when I came back (seriously less than two minutes later), this is what I found!  She was very proud of herself.


Bath time has become more fun since she has "discovered" the water.  She will kick her legs and splash.  She even tries to "grab" the water and put it in her mouth.  It is way too cute!


Since she is so busy and loves to be upright, I pulled out Zuri's old exersaucer and she loves it!  She figured out how to spin and push the buttons right away.  The batteries still worked after five years.  How great is that!

Chick Hospital

Earlier this year Zuri's class had the opportunity to watch and take care of some chicks.  They cared for them as eggs in an incubator and watched as they hatched.  It was a great learning experience for the kids, and they even had other students come and they told them about the chicks.  The parents were also invited and Zuri's class posed as "veterinarians" complete with "lab coats" and stethoscopes.  They answered questions and talked about the chicks.  So cute.

After the chicks were all hatched and the class had shared all they learned, the chicks went to a good home where they have plenty of room to roam around. 

Zuri talked about the chicks for weeks.  She would talk about the eggs being in the incubator and "you can't touch the incubator."  She loved when they could touch and feed the chicks.  Zuri's teacher mentioned getting pictures of her holding one of the chicks, but I haven't seen it yet.  What a great experience for the kids!